Because of you...
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30 Day Letter Challenge- Day 7- to the EX
This letter has been hovering over my shoulders since I started this project. You know, cause 7 days is a long time.
Mike…
If Shakespeare was to write about our story I am sure it would be classified as a tragedy, even though we are both living. I have come a long way since you consumed my soul. This quote actually sums it up perfectly:
“Will our history crush us or can we let it go?
I’m not the girl I was but what have I become?
I’m not so willing anymore to bend
Still pleasing and conceding
But I’m not gonna lose myself again”We let our history crush us to the point where we could go on no more. And, because of us I vowed never to lose myself again in another relationship. To love that deep and to have given all that I was still to this day makes me sick to my stomach and I mourn the loss of the girl I once was. Without losing the essence of myself, you held me captivated long after our relationship was through. You took all of me and when the going got tough hijacked my heart and soul and never gave it back.
For 6 years of my life I waited for you; Waiting for you became who I was and for that I hate you with every emotion that used to sparkle when you were near. We had something truly special, so special that it is hard to put into words… All those clichéd descriptions and more.
The room truly did stand still when our eyes locked and when you touched me, you placed me in a total different universe. The absence of you however made me stronger, but never did the memories of that “complete” feeling leave me. Through the years you have popped in and out of my life, almost just to keep the flame alive and prohibit me from truly healing and moving on. You merged with my soul and left me branded for life.
I’ve moved on. To say I have completely healed would be a lie. But, the acceptance that you are a part of me and those feelings I clung to for so long were way too intense to ever completely let go. So I harbor you in my heart, in the space I have holed off and called your own.
Sometimes I meet you in my dreams and we are again like two little kids afraid to look one another in the eye for fear of one another knowing the true extent of our feelings…but I wake up. And, in those moments between sleep and awake, I miss you the most. I reach out just for one last touch and come up empty. But, when I wake fully someone who treats me and loves me the way it was intended is there and for the most part I am comforted.
You had your chances…you had me. And, you let me go. My promise still stands though…because no matter where you are, when you feel lonely and lost, just look up to the sky and know that someone is thinking of you too, and loving you so much from afar.
Forever Yours,
Kindle
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30 day letter challenge- Day 6 - Letter to a Stranger
Dear Stranger,
I would like to sit here and write out a letter to you wishing you the best in life. Encouraging you to stop and smell the roses and appreciate the simple things in life more than you do…you know, some of the things that I myself would like to accomplish. But, I know myself too well. I don’t know you…so I don’t really care about you. Call me selfish, but I would like to twist that into selfless, for instead of reading this pretending to give a shit, you get to go on living your hopefully merry life and not even think of me! Uh, sounds like a bonus to me! Because, hey…I am not thinking about you either!
Oh, and if you are homeless…hang around Hacienda Heights on Thanksgiving. I am know to have overindulged in beer and quite often like to take my Grandma’s left overs to the homeless people by the Liquor store. Although it just dawned on me that if you are homeless you most likely don’t have internet conection. But, it still makes me warm and fuzzy to know I donate food.
See ya!
Kindle
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30 Day Letter Challenge - day 5- Dearest Dreams
Dearest Dreams,
I used to lie awake and stare at the stars thinking of all the things that I wanted to do when I grew up. That still hasn’t changed. I am still that little girl who can zone out anywhere and envision how I want something to be, what I want to accomplish and play it out in my head to perfection.
Growing up I have learned to love that place between awake and sleep even more and appreciate the clarity that that time gives me. Even though you have changed over the years, I still strive to achieve the ones that constantly seem to matter.
You have held my hand when fear has tried to hold me back. Walked with me through the tangled weeds of life and lifted me over the bramble and bushes that clung. Without you, I would have no breath in my lungs and no will to continue on.
Thank you for shining so bright in my life…creating that special world I am able to retreat to and recharge. Many more years I will follow your light to happiness. How exciting it is to know that you grow and change with me…at the same pace, a constant companion. In night and day, light and dark…always true.
Forever a dreamer,
Kindlelynn
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30 day Letter Challenge - Day 4, To my Little Bro
Brandon,
For some reason you have always looked up to me. I still can’t figure that out seeing I pretty much ignored you your whole life. Not gonna lie, I really did ask Mom to put you back in once you popped out. 6 years old and my world was perfect being an only child. AND I wanted a sister, haha.
I can really say now though…you aren’t that bad. Now that you have gotten older and stopped copying everything I did. Grew into your own skin a little more and realized it didn’t matter what everyone else thought…do what you want. You finally became your own person. A little strange at times, but at least your own person. And, that I can stand behind.
We have become closer over the last couple of years and it’s pretty rad. I keep hoping that you will not the same mistakes that I did when growing up but I know you will. The hard part is biting my tongue as I watch you do them before they happen. Couple things I can tell you and hope you listen is, trust your instincts. If that little twinge in your stomach tells you that something is off, it normally is. People make mistakes and hurt you, if you can’t get over that then you will live life holding a grudge and it only brings YOU down. And, surround yourself with people who only take you up. I am sure you get what I am saying.
Anyways…hope to see you soon. I love you.
Xoxo
Brat
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30 Day Letter Challenge - Day 3, To my Mama
Dear Mama, It is an amazing thing to know that even though I get older and have started my own life, the need to see and talk to you has not diminished. We do not have a normal Mother, Daughter relationship. I do not know a lot of people who can spend hours talking and laughing with their Mom while being so open and honest. I love that about us. Telling you anything is one of the highlights of my life and I want to thank you for allowing us to have that type of relationship. I like to think I was a pretty good kid :) Learning from you and your life experiences have definitely made me who I am. Thank you for always being there. Even though you are not close in miles I know you are always close in heart. Thank you for all of your sacrifices and all of the times you chose me instead of other things, they definitely out weigh the other times and it took me growing up to realize that. I love you more than beef and can’t wait to see you next weekend. Thank you again for being my Mom. All my love, Kindlelynn -
30 Day Letter Challenge - Day 2 -To my Crush(es)
Dear Matthew, Kevin, Richard, Patrick a Rob,
Seeing your beautiful faces on the screen of my television as well as the silver screen has made my life. There are very few words that can express how I feel about you all. I just want you to know that you are on “my freebee” list and I am expecting a phone call from all of you at least some time in my life to redeem that freebee coupon. Seeing that you all are older than me, we should probably schedule something soon. I don’t know if babies are a part of the freebee deal that my husband agreed upon, but I might have to make that happen.
Thanks for being my crushes. For giving me that little catch in my breath when I see you and for the countless hours of daydreaming and entertainment. Matt, with your chiseled body and your Texas twang. Kevin with you brooding attitude and little twinkle in your eye. Patrick, oh mcdreamy, I could float in those eyes of yours forever. And, last but not least…Rob, everything about you makes me mushy. From that awesome little smirk, angled jawline and all around yumminess. You guys will forever melt my heart.
All my love and crushiness,
Kindle
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Day One…
30 day letter challenge- day one - Letter to my Best Friend…
Dear Candice Lynn…
Almost 20 years ago we stumbled across one another. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that we would be lifelong friends from that day forward. 8 year olds don’t thing about those things, of course. Through moves and different schools we’ve stood by one another and I could not imagine my life without you in it. You are my rock, the one I can tell anything to, even the evil thoughts that happen to pop into my head a little too often. There is no judgment between us. No secrets. No lies and only two amazing fights in the many years we have been partners in crime.
It boggles my mind that throughout life, you are the one constant thing. We’ve been there for everything worth living life for…first kiss, first dance, first boyfriend, heartbreak, experiencing death, life, marriage…everything. I’ve watched you stumble and grow. Been there as you found out you were pregnant. Stood by your side as you have raised the most amazing little boy in the world and granted me the gift of being Godmother and Auntie. Watching you marry the love of your life brought drunken tears and much happiness, because if there is one person in this life that deserves their “Happy Ending”. You can bet your ass, that person is you!
You are the best person I know. So, thanks! Thanks for being that vital part in my life that completely completes me. Here is to the rest of our lives…thick and thin. You and Me and ALL the bumps in the road to come.
All my love!
Your kinlminl,
Kindlelynn
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30 day letter challenge…
My cousin inspired me to do this…I love this idea.
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
